These past few days have been some of my most productive and creative for what must be years. I’ve scoured my kitchen until it’s spotless. I’ve worked on my story writing, which I haven’t really done in a long time. I’ve kept up with my blogging.
What I haven’t done is spent any of the past three days making sense to the rest of the world. Ever since a nasty fall down the stairs before Christmas I’ve been plagued with drowsiness and headaches, the odd dizzy spell, and general difficulty regulating my sleeping. Most of this has passed, but my body clock just won’t be fixed. So, in an effort to reset it, I’ve been messing with my sleeping pattern.
I don’t know what time it is, or what day we’re on, or how many hours sleep ahead or behind I am any more. I don’t know what “night’s sleep” I’ll be having next time I close my eyes. Whereas before my sleeping pattern was misaligned, now it really is just broken. And, while I’m making leaps and bounds in creativity from all the extra time and energy, it’s the most bewildering experience of my life.
I won’t take sleeping tablets, the worst I’ve tried is antihistamines with a mild sedative effect, and they’re about as useful as a chocolate button before bed at the moment. I have never been so out-of-sorts in my life, it’s beyond bewildering. I hope and pray that, come Monday morning, I’m back to something resembling a sleeping pattern. Hell, I’d even take a skewiffy, 6am till 2pm one like I had before. But this is insanity.
I’ve tried all nighters. I’ve fought to get up at regular times. Nothing worked. No matter how little sleep I got I’d still be awake at 4am. If anything I crashed out earlier the nights I DID try to stay awake through.
Here’s how confused it’s left me. I just spent a few seconds trying to remember if the capital “D” I typed a moment ago was the right way around, of if the computer had mysteriously decided to flip it back to front. Are you sure capital “D” is meant to face >> this way, and not << that way???
If this isn’t fixed by Monday I’m going back to the doctors and not leaving without a solution. I’m taking it in good humour, but it’s driving me crackers!