When one door closes…

And it’s one heck of a door. I had to hand in my notice at work last week. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my back and legs, diagnosed by the doctor as sciatica. Some days aren’t so bad, but others are so painful I can hardly do my most basic chores around the house, never mind a shift at work.

I’m sad that it’s gone this way because I learned so much from being there and I have so many fond memories, but I need to sort myself out first. I let myself mourn the job for a day or two before forcing my mind to move on. So far it seems to be working – I am feeling quite positive about the future and I already have a fair few ideas in mind for projects I can do with the extra time. For now I am keeping all my cards firmly to my chest. Experience has taught me that getting prematurely excited about things tends to make it feel worse in the event of my plans falling through. Besides, my first concern is taking a time-out and focusing on my health. I’m attending physiotherapy appointments for my back, and my condition is being reviewed in a few weeks for the rest of my medication to be stabilised.

As I’ve mentioned before, the “cold-turkey new me” approach (ie. sudden switch of behaviour after New Year’s resolutions *cough*) just doesn’t seem to work for me. Or for most other people, I bet. And so I am in the process of developing my very own self-help scheme. Not the sort I’m going to write my own book about. I’m just organising my life a bit, using the wisdom I’ve gathered from 24 years of living with myself. After all, I’m stuck with this one for the long hall – I may as well learn to like it.

My first step is to find the direction and get the ball rolling. Just like the Buddhist saying: “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep walking.”

I’m still addicted to quotes. But it’s a fair point. you can’t climb mountains without first taking a step, and that’s where I’m going to start.

Wish me luck,

 

Kirsty

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